I wore a dainty red sundress and my favorite Old Navy cardigan. Because it was Easter Sunday, I adorned my neck with a string of  pearls (granted they were fake… I still loved them). I even spritzed some of my mother's perfume onto my wrists and rubbed them together. I felt beautiful.

My boyfriend was picking me up for Easter brunch back at his house. When I  saw his sports car pull into my driveway, I rushed out of the house and up to his door. As he rolled down his window, I stepped back so he could see my entire outfit, and I shyly tucked my long hair behind my ear. I remember smiling ear to ear, excited to see what he thought of how I looked. Rather than tell me I looked pretty, he gave me the once-over and rudely asked, "why on earth are you wearing all that?" 

When we arrived at his house, I took a seat at a long card table that was set up in the kitchen. I was sandwiched between my boyfriend and his brother-in-law. While I was picking at my food, my boyfriend was glued to his phone. He barely said a handful of words to me throughout the entire brunch.  Out of curiosity (and annoyance), I glanced at his phone to see who he was texting…. it was his brother-in-law. The same brother-in-law that was sitting on the other side of me. I thought it was weird that my boyfriend didn't just talk to him in person, but the next time I looked at his phone, I saw why talking out loud wouldn't be appropriate. The image I saw on his phone made me sick to my stomach. My boyfriend and his brother-in-law were exchanging pictures of nearly-naked women.

As a naïve freshman in high school, I didn't understand the far-reaching effects of pornography. I just instinctively knew it was wrong. At the time, I didn't have the courage and confidence to confront my boyfriend about what I saw on his phone. I simply ended the relationship. . . no questions asked. In the years since then, I have become more educated about why pornography is a serious matter for both men and women. 

 Neurologically, pornography trains a man's brain to associate sexual joy with trashy, forbidden fantasies. No woman can compete with these images because Godly relationships require respect and reverence. Even if a married woman did attempt to conform to such a warped image of womanhood to win  or keep her husband's sexual attention and interest, her victory would be hallow and momentary.  Research shows that men who poison their minds with lecherous images grow bored of the women they are lusting over within seconds. They need more and more images to satisfy them.  When a man looks at porn,  he sees women as objects rather than precious treasures. Therefore, when pornography infects a relationship, the woman is the one who pays the highest price.

A psychologist named Dr. Douglas Kenrick carried out several studies on the effects of pornography. In one of his experiments, Kenrick revealed images of Playboy models, moderately attractive women, and abstract art to separate groups of male students. Afterward, he asked his test subjects to rate the attractiveness of an average female. Those male students who had looked at the porn rated her less attractive than the other two groups did. They even rated their actual girlfriends the lowest in terms of attractiveness and how much they loved them! 

No wonder my modest red sundress wasn't enough to make my boyfriend bat an eye. 

Because of pornography, it never could be. 

As Paul said in his first epistle to the Corinthians, " No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)

With all of the technology we have available, the temptation to view pornography can be great. That being said, it is my prayer that men would seek God for the strength to resist becoming enslaved by it. Whether it is a graphic video or a seductive picture of a  Victoria's Secret model, Father help men shield their eyes from these lustful images and their minds from lustful thoughts. Help them keep their hearts focused on You. 

So many girls realize that the problem of porn is widespread among men yet they have no desire to address it. Instead, they often choose to accept it and rationalize it by believing the lie that "boys will be boys."  It is my hope that more women would realize that when a man's expectations of a female's body and behavior are shaped by the porn industry, it causes immeasurable harm to his relationships with women. We need to stop taking this lightly. 

Pornography robs a man of his ability to be captivated by true beauty in a woman.  

This past spring, my Facebook newsfeed was flooded with with a sea of red equal signs. Overnight, smiling faces of both friends and strangers were replaced with passionate propaganda supporting the redefinition of the meaning of marriage. Those equal signs screamed at me every time I explored my Facebook. As if the equality profile pictures were not enough, my newsfeed  was filled with offensive posts denouncing God and taking biblical verses out of context to support the recognition of gay marriage. As a Christian, I felt personally insulted. What was I supposed to do with those feelings? Rather than get my panties in a bunch, I hid the equality extremists from my newsfeed and carried on with my day. After all, I am sure they did the same thing to me because of my public adoration for Christ. 

However, the passionate "equality" posts and comics were not the only thing that struck a nerve with me…. I was just as disappointed with how Christianity, the church, and God were being represented by those on the other side of the issue. The majority of the Christians who debated the homosexuality/marriage topic on Facebook spoke with harsh tones and cold words sprinkled with a few supporting bible verses here and there.  Often my brothers and sisters in Christ sounded judgmental and unloving. 

Unless someone has an open and changeable heart for Jesus, a condemning bible verse is not going to radically change their view on an issue they are passionately supporting. After observing formal and informal debates in high school, I have noticed that the person being debated often focuses more on the tone of delivery and body language than the content of the argument. For example, in my senior english class, I was debating the topic of whether or not high schools should provide daycares for their students' children. In my opinion, my argument was solid, but because of my stubborn attitude and cocky delivery, my partner ignored every word I said. After class, he confessed to me that my arrogance was a "turn-off" and made him feel threatened and unwilling to hear what I had to say….. OUCH.

My partner's brutal honesty opened my eyes to how people in support of homosexual marriage may feel when Christians point their fingers.  When our [Christians] actions and words lack love, we come off as arrogant and judgmental. We give others the impression that God hates homosexual people. So when a person feels threatened like this, what would make him or her want to learn more about God and His true meaning and design for marriage?  I know that if I felt that Jesus and His followers hated me because I was homosexual, I would want nothing to do with Christianity. 

Also, the easiest thing in the world is to condemn the sins we personally are not tempted to commit. For example, .a sexually active woman who has genuine feelings for her boyfriend may look down upon girls who engage in meaningless hookups. Since she has no desire to settle for one-night stands, she convinces herself that she's superior to those who do settle for them. But by doing this, she is diverting her attention away from her own behavior which is equally sinful. 

In other words, we have a tendency to put "degrees of wrongness" on sins. The sins that we aren't tempted to commit become "big" sins or "the worst kind".  Naturally, we feel elite. I mean hello, we aren't thieves, adulteresses, or murderers, so we must be better off than those who are, right? Wrong

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 6:23

As I read that verse, I noticed that Paul wasn't very specific about which sin would end in death. But then I remembered that to God all sin is the same. All sin breaks His heart. Promiscuity (both heterosexual and homosexual), gossip, stealing, lying, cheating…. it's all the same. Without Jesus Christ, all sin leads to death. 

That being said, it is my prayer that we [Christians] would be able to notice the log in our own eye before we point out the splinter in another's. It is my prayer that our hearts would hate all sin, not just the sins we aren't tempted to commit. Every time you see a red equal sign, use it as a reminder to ask God to make the sin that taints your heart more clear to you. 

"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." - 1 Corinthians 13:1

Obviously today is not August 4th, but how about we pretend it is! I am only three days late anyway.... Happy National Sister's Day to my beautiful older sister, Meg !

I spent my four years of high school with my nose in a book. I carried around two Texas Instrument calculators in my purse and if you dug deep enough, you'd probably even find a protractor. If my five pages of college statistics homework looked sloppy, I'd take the time to copy it onto five brand new pieces of paper. On Friday nights, rather than going to football games, I'd stay home and work on papers and experiments that weren't due for several weeks. My classmates chose me as their class brain and "most likely to be rich and famous". In the end, I graduated as the valedictorian of my class with an accumulative grade point average well above 4.0. 

When I wasn't busy being a nerd (or complete freak as my fellow classmates would call me), I was showing paint horses on a national level. I did this for two solid years of high school, missing over 20 days each year. (I still have yet to discover how I wasn't considered "truant"). In that time frame, I won over 19 national and world titles with my horse Leroy. 

I did all of this and yet I still completely missed the point of high school.  

Let me rephrase that…. I completely missed the point of high school as a Christ Follower.

Everyone knew I was a Christ-follower, but I never put down my book or calculator voluntarily to share the love of Christ with a fellow classmate.  

You see, my biggest fear was failure. So, consequently, I spent my high school years avoiding failure. However, my biggest fear should have been succeeding at things in life that really don't matter because that is exactly what I did. I wasted my high school years succeeding at things that didn't "build the Kingdom"  and missed out on so many opportunities to share Christ to a student body surrounded by darkness. 

Simply put, I regret how I spent my high school years. If I could trade in every world title and 4.0 grade point average in return for the ability to say with confidence "I planted seeds of light in a hopeless place" I would in a heartbeat.

I challenge you to reevaluate your life. I hate to admit it, but people who have never experienced the love of God tend to base their judgement of Him off of His followers. We, as Christians, may be the only bible some people read. What do you want them to take away from us? To my non-Christian classmates, because of my actions, the bible seemed to promote selfishness and earthly rewards rather than selflessness and Heaven being the ultimate reward. 

Rather then living your life with the goal of creating an impressive "résumé",  live your life with the goal of building up God's Kingdom and sharing the Good News with your words and actions. Put down your "book" or "calculator" and get your hands dirty! 

I am so excited about bringing these to college with me! The regular sized mason jars are going to be used as "pencil cans". The tiffany blue and lavender mason jars are mine and the others are ones I made for friends. The three miniature mason jars are going to be used for paper clips, push pins, laundry quarters, etc.  I am really happy with how they turned out! When it comes to crafts, I am usually accidentally cutting holes in my shirt and hot gluing my fingers together. 

During my senior year, I had a girl randomly approach me during my choir class and ask me if I was worried I wouldn't be sexually compatible with my husband because we didn't have a "test run" before we said I DO. Whoa… weird question especially while we were singing Jingle Bells.  I wasn't sure if she was serious or just poking fun at me. Regardless of her motive, I realized that all the young women around me were incredibly intrigued in what I had to say. Oh boy, I had to think of something good and fast! My short answer was a solid "No" sprinkled with "Marriage is so much more than sex." But here is my long answer….

Okay, so basically my classmate was asking me how I would know if I wanted to marry a man without sleeping with him…But on the flip side, how would I know I wanted to marry a man even if I did sleep with him? You see, sex wasn't created to be a pass/fail test for potential spouses. Pre-marital sex makes you less objective and definitely doesn't help you get to know a man. Pre-marital sex clouds your judgement and often causes unmarried couples to believe they have more of a connection than they really do.  When a woman marries a man because she believes he passed the sexually compatible test, their lack of compatibility will come to the surface later on when the fog of lust burns away. People who want to know everything about a partner before marriage - including the gift of sex- are actually saying that they have little faith in the relationship. As Jason Evertt explains in How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul:

"Imagine a lover saying to his fiancée,"You know, we really get along, but I need to see how you are in bed before I'll commit to spending my life with you." What does that say? If he marries her and she fails to thrill him sexually, will he love her less? If so, then one can be sure that he never loved her to begin with."

Food for thought: You can never completely know a person before marriage because it takes a lifetime to fully know someone!! Besides, if having intercourse allows you to "know a person completely", then how many woman do you want your husband to "know completely"? Or how many men do you want to "know completely?" 

I once had someone tell me that even if Jesus walked into the room, I wouldn't want to marry Him because my standards are unrealistically high. There is no better word than "offended" to describe how I felt when I was told that. I started doubting the once non-negotiable qualities I desired in a husband. Maybe I am a tad too picky? I stressed over that cold remark for the next few days. At one point, I felt so discouraged that I began to think maybe I should lower my expectations to what people would consider a realistic level. But after several days of constant prayer and examination of my heart, I felt at peace with the standards I had originally established. Now,  I am not picky about what my husband is to look like, but as the daughter of a King, I am more than okay with being picky when it comes to the character qualities I want my husband to have. God knows the desires of my heart and I believe that He will definitely acknowledge the important ones. Plus, as said by Jason Everett, by establishing non-negotiable standards for future relationships, a woman builds a castle around her heart. Unless a guy is man enough to ascend the wall, he has no chance of being with her. If you ask me, I want my castle wall to be pretty high so that only the man worthy of my heart will be able to climb it. And if my wall is too high for any man to climb, than I will live my life without the regret of settling for less than what God would have wanted for me. 

So whenever a man tells you that your standards are too high.... Realize that, chances are, he is probably intimidated by the height of the wall you have built around your heart. Instead of "manning up" and climbing the wall, he is trying to take the short cut by pressuring you to lower it!

And when a woman criticizes you for having unrealistic standards..... Understand that she may be envying the courage you have to wait for the right man rather than just settling for anyone.

In the meantime, keep guarding that precious heart of yours from cheap love! Put boundaries on your desires and don't go after everything you see. Trust that God is writing you the perfect love story and don't feel pressured to lower your standards out of impatience or because of criticism. God knows the deepest desires of our hearts. I don't believe He'd put them in our hearts if he never intended to do something with them! Find peace in that. 

PS: I would take being in Jesus's presence over meeting the man of my dreams any day!!